Well I hadn't. Not until Princess hit the grand old age of 3 anyway.
I'd always heard of the Terrible Two's and had been dreading them. Fortunately, they hadn't been as bad as I was expecting, which was a nice surprise. However, it left me completely unprepared to face a three year old.
I thought I had this parenting malarkey down to a T. Move over Gina Ford, Misty knows what she's doing. But alas.. Once again, life decide to throw me another challenge, one I had no fucking idea how to face.
Let me tell you.. If you think your 2 year old is challenging, you ain't seen nothing yet. The Terrible Two's do not exist, they are a simple a taster of what is yet to come.. And it ain't pretty.
For one.. They can talk. Fluently. Gone are the days of feeling a rush of pride when your child learns a new word. No. Now they know them all. And their favourites tend to be swear words. It doesn't matter how careful you are, they have a sixth sense for the F word. As soon as it's left your mouth, they pounce on the opportunity, shouting it with pride to anyone who will listen. And they know you can't tell them off.. After all, you said it first.
It also means they can answer back. Sometimes Princess just doesn't understand why I have told her no and will argue with me to the point I end up telling her to do what she wants. Model parenting right there, I know. But you just cannot win an argument with a threenager. They also like to tell you off too.. God forbid you should eat the last chocolate biscuit, you'll soon know about it.
Which leads me to questions. Oh, the questions. What was once a very cute trait in which I would relish answering all of her questions and teaching her about the world.. Soon turns in to "why?" "Where are we?" Every 10 seconds. A few more "why's?" And a couple of "BUT WHAT FOR!?" and the questions aren't so cute any more. Sometimes I genuinely think she's just looking for an argument.. She's feisty so it wouldn't surprise me.
The only part that counteracts this.. Is the way she can become absolutely adorable. My current favourites are:
"Mummy, I'm so proud of you!"
"You're my best friend!"
"I've missed you SO much" and the all time favourite
"I love you lots and lots like jelly beans!"
All it takes is one of those little phrases to make me forgive her.
I forgive the tantrums, the bad behaviour, the constant and incessant whinging.
She may be the Queen of all Threenagers, but she may just be the cutest of them all!