Monday, 18 November 2013

Kicked Whilst You're Down

It's no secret that I like to complain. I love a good moan. It can be about anything too, I'm not too fussy.

Right now, I am at whinging central. I am like a misunderstood toddler who has just had their favourite toy taken away.

To put it plain and simple.. I'm poorly.

After days of agony I was rushed off to the walk in centre and was quite quickly diagnosed with tonsillitis.

My first thought was: "Is that it!?"

I've had tonsillitis before. I had a sore, swollen throat, a gross mouth and a bit of a cough. This is nothing like that.

I am aching, all over. Literally from my head to my toes. My head feels like it is splitting open, I can barely swallow, my shoulders and back are in absolute agony and I have shooting pains in my stomach and it's a battle just to get out of bed. All of this is caused by tonsillitis.

I went back to the Doctors today as I'm not feeling any better despite the antibiotics. She reckons I actually have glandular fever. Great. They can't do the blood test to diagnose until I have finished my antibiotics which is 10 days away. I have been signed off work again as I am just so exhausted and ill.

I feel like an absolute and utter failure. This really couldn't have come at a worse time.

Last week one of the worst things ever happened to our family and we are all still struggling to come to grips with it. There is no time for being ill. I feel like I am letting everyone down and that I am actually stupid for being this ill. Considering the circumstances right now, I feel down right foolish.

But I can't help it. Everything is a struggle. I only just about made it to the Doctors without collapsing.

I'm hoping that this clears up quickly. On top of everything else, Princess also has a cold and a nasty virus cough just to make things even more enjoyable for all of us. She's suffering so much at the moment but as it's viral there is nothing to help her except paracetamol.

I'm at the end of my tether to say the least. I am fed up of wallowing and self pitying when there are people who need me to be strong. I am sick of feeling like a victim but mind over matter just isn't working. Usually I can pick myself up and soldier on, but not this time. I am too run down and it has taken over. I've barely eaten in the last few days due to the sheer pain of it so my energy levels are zero. 

In basic terms - fuck tonsillitis. I am sick of you. Piss off and let me look after my family.

Sincerely,

Misty.

3 comments:

Laura Huggins said...

Sending you lots of big virtual hugs which I know wont make a difference but just to let you know am thinking of you! Hope the antibiotics kick in soon x x x

Sam said...

Oh it's horrible when you feel so poorly isn't it? I hope you are back on your feet and feeling better soon xx

Louise Fairweather said...

Oh no xxxx Hope you are feeling better soon x