Okay, this post isn't as crazy as it sounds. Maybe.
It has recently come to my attention that I do something so cringe worthy and unmentionable several times everyday that I'm not even sure I can admit it.
I do it in different scenarios: when I'm with certain people and even more embarrassingly.. when I'm by myself.
What I'm talking about of course.. is using my voice.
You know.. talking.
I am ashamed to admit it, but I have several voices. As in, you know a.. *whispers* .. work voice.
One minute, I will be sat talking to my work colleague, feet comfortably tucked under my bum whilst I'm sat on my fun, swivel chair when a customer walks in. Within seconds, I have my feet on the floor, my back is straight and there is a smile etched on my face.
"HIYA!" I shriek, deafening the poor sod in front of me.
And then I launch into an ear piercing facade about how brilliant we all are and why this customer should indeed shop with me RIGHT NOW.
Why do I do it? I don't fucking know.
It's the same when I answer the phone. "Goooooood Afternoon, thank you for calling ******* Misty speaking...." I'm pretty sure no person on the EARTH sounds as perky as I do on the phone.
Unless you're my bank calling. Then you can fuck off.
I also use a voice for Princess. This is my toddler voice. It ranges from talking like an absolute spanner such as "SO, what shall we do TODAY!? to something along the lines of "I swear to MR. TUMBLE if you don't put those scissors DOWN..." But they both sound the same. You get me?
And then if I wasn't crazy enough.. I talk to myself too. Not in the way you would think. I don't remind myself to do things and I don't have conversations with myself. I berate myself for every single thing I do wrong. This is my self-hatred sarcastic voice. "Nice job, dickhead" is one of my faves.
Why do I use all of these voices? I am starting to genuinely wonder which one is my ACTUAL voice. I don't use all of these voices all of the time, and I don't think I use any one more than any other.
Go on.. admit it. You have a phone voice too don't you?
How many voices do you have?