I hate the judgement that people pass over what colours parents choose to dress their children or buy toys in.
For example: A woman is pregnant. She finds out it's a girl. She buys lots of pink vests, sleepsuits, bottles, etc. People will then pass comments about how it's wrong to dress a girl in all pink. It's gender stereotyping. You're damaging your child this way.
How the fuck did you come to that conclusion!?
I don't understand how, by dressing my girl in a pink dress, I am damaging her. I'm messing her up psychologically. Or how it's anyone else business.
For Christmas, I plan on buying Princess a tool kit. Do you know why? Because she likes to play with tools. She likes to pretend to 'fix' her Daddys bike and play that she's mending things. How is that any different to me also buying her a dolls pushchair? Because she also likes to pretend she's a Mummy too.
So by encouraging my girl to play with tools which are typically meant for boys, I'm doing the right thing. But by buying her a dolls pram I'm enforcing the fact that she 'should' play with dolls because it will be her role later on in life.
I will buy her tools because she likes to play with them, and I will buy her a pram because she likes to play with them too. I'm not buying her a dolls pram just because she's a girl.
|Fixing Daddys bike|
So what should I do? Should I be coerced into non conformity and dress my girl in jeans and a t-shirt? Because guess what? I do that too.
You'll probably reel at the thought of Princess having a pink pushchair. She did and it was beautiful. I didn't buy it just because she was a girl, I bought it because I loved it. It's true, that if I'd have had a boy I probably would've bought the blue version, but what does it matter? I personally like the colour pink. So whilst I actually have the option to choose what my daughter wears, I shall dress her in things that I like. When she's old enough to make the decision herself, I will let her. (Within reason, obv)
You ask Princess what her favourite colour is and she will say/point to something blue. She will grab a brush and pretend to sweep. Sometimes she pretends to feed her dolls and other times she will play wrestling with us.
|Is my parenting wrong because I bought her a pink guitar & piano?|
Please explain to me how by dressing her in God forbid.. a pink frilly dress with glittery shoes, am I forcing her to be a certain way?
I believe that how you interact with your child is what forms their mind and their gender. If you don't allow your girl to play with cars and tools and only allow dolls and kitchenette sets, then yes, you're reinforcing it.If you don't allow her to climb trees and get dirty like her male peers then once again, it's reinforcement.
However, playing pretend 'mechanics' with your daughter whilst simultaneously feeding a doll is just pure fun!
Just because I dress my daughter in pink and I chose purple in her bedroom instead of blue does not mean I am gender stereotyping her. She can be whatever she wants to be and I will support her 110%! People need to stop judging others by what they think is right (and wrong) and just accept that sometimes girls wear pink because they like it and not because they were forced.
I admit, if I had had a boy, he would probably wear blue. But my point is, by actually conforming to gender stereotypes at such a young age, I don't understand what sort of 'damage' I am doing. When she's old enough to make her own choices, I won't force her to wear pink because that's what girls 'should' wear. She can wear whatever colour she likes.
Oh and here's a little snippet of information for you... While both mothersand fathers contribute to the gender stereotyping of their children, fathershave been found to reinforce gender stereotypes more often than mothers(Ruble, 1988).