Monday, 18 June 2012

Hat's Off To Dads

I know I'm a day late with this post, but have only just found the time to sit down!

Fathers Day can be difficult for many people for lots of different reasons. Sometimes it can be hard because like me, you don't know your Dad. For others it could be that your Dad has passed away and you're having to celebrate without him. I think the people that Fathers Day is hardest on, is the Mums who have to watch their children unable to celebrate it because their Dads have personally chosen not to be around.

I can't imagine the heartache a Mum must feel, knowing that their childs Dad has chosen not to be in their life. A friend of mines daughter only got to see her Dad for an hour because his new girlfriend wouldn't allow any longer. His response was something along the lines of "well at least she got to see me". That might be true, but when that little girl gets older, how is she going to feel to know that her Dad picked his girlfriend over her?

It breaks my heart that some men are taken away from the world, Dads who genuinely loved their children and treasured the attention on Fathers Day, whilst others simply don't even care. 

A lot of Dads are given a bad name (this post probably doesn't help!). Apparently it's just this generation, although we all know that's not true. Every generation has it's fair share of let down Dads. 

I was lucky enough to have a Step-Dad help bring me up. He took me on as his own and I called him Dad. Unfortunately, after about 12 years he decided family life was boring for him and went off with a woman closer to my age than his. To start another family. I haven't heard from him since, but I will always be grateful that he was a Fatherly role in my life. I was also very fortunate to have an amazing Grandad. Ever since I can remember I have always said if I were to get married, he would be the one to walk me down the aisle. Even though he's not my biological Grandad (once again, another case of a let-down Dad on my Mums behalf) and my Grandma isn't with us anymore, I am still his Granddaughter and always will be. 

All of this could be said for Mums too. There are single Dads out there, results of let-down Mums but they're not as common. I think the reason for this is that there is never really much choice for a woman. We have to carry a baby and give birth, whether the Dad stays around or not. The only time you ever really find single Dads are if the Mum has been deemed unfit, or the child has chosen to live with the Dad. 

I don't think Fathers Day is a day for Mums too. Every Mum will strive to do her best for a child, but I don't think she can completely fill the shoes of having a Dad. 

I didn't plan on having a child so early. I always thought I would be at least 25 when I did (that was the plan). But a faulty pill resulted in my Princess and I couldn't have been happier. And neither could Ross. I know for a fact that if things didn't work out between us, he would fight for his daughter. Because of that, I have a lot of respect for him. Fortunately, I'm not one of those Mums who would use a child as a pawn. We would try to come to an agreement ourselves and stick to it. This is simply because I know how it feels to not have your real Dad in your life. I would never deny Princess that priviledge. Ross is a wonderful Dad and he loves Princess with everything he has. He would give her anything she wanted and he would die for her. 

That is the definition of a Dad.

So this post is dedicated to all the Dads out there who stepped up to the plate. The ones who stood by their partners through pregnancy and birth and watched their children grow up. Whether they were still with the Mum or not. A relationship doesn't have to work just because there are children involved, but there is no excuse to not carry on your relationship with your child. It's for Dads who pay their way and contribute to the upbringing of their children. The ones who genuinely enjoy spending time with their child and would fight to stay in their lives. The Dads who have taken on children who are not biologically their own, but love them as if they were. 

I never knew my Dad. I have his last name and apparently I get my looks from him, but it's all words. I will never know for myself. I don't have an interest in finding or meeting him, because his choice was not to know me so in true Like Father Like Daughter fashion, I have taken on the same decision. 

I know my Princess will always have her Dad.

 Hats off to you Dads! I have the biggest respect for all of you.


leoni-fay bunting said...

thats lovely.
I've tagged you in a meme - hope that's ok. Only do it if you want to, there's no pressure - it's a Yummy Mummy one! x

Misty Bird said...

Aw thank you!
I'll take part, I'm honored you thought of me for a yummy mummy post! Just had a read of yours, it's fab x